For the past two months or so, I've been working part-time evenings as a survey question writer for a media company. It's a sometimes taxing experience, but it's really decent pay and a comfortable working environment. Ninety-five percent of the people working there write questions for shows like The Daily Show and Letterman, whereas the remaining five percent are composed of writers working on Telemundo and Univisión programs. Us Spanish writers are a small bunch - about eight or so - but we get along really well and watch out for one another when we struggle with a particular show. Whereas we're a surprisingly tight-knit group, the other 95% give off a consistently alienating vibe. At first I thought the "issue" was just with me (i.e., "the New Kid"), but it turned out it's apparently with the entire Spanish Language Writer troupe. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why this is so, but no answer has presented itself to me. When I started in June, I thought I'd be able to socialize freely with people, given the laid back environment there. However, every time I make a small gesture - a pleasant wave or a friendly nod - to anyone nearby, I just get a blank stare in return. If I smile at a girl passing me by, she'll almost definitely reciprocate with a deadpan look.
One evening that I had the night off, I went to see Contempt at Socrates Sculpture Park. As I waited for the movie to start, I noticed a bearded man sitting next to me, sharing a picnic with an attractive girl. I definitely recognized his face from somewhere, but I was drawing a blank as to his name, or where I knew him from. I went to work the following night and saw the bearded guy there. Perfect!, I thought to myself. A great way to 'break the ice' with him. He had decent taste in films, after all, so he showed promise as a guy to have a good conversation with. I saw him in the break room and awkwardly told him about our coincidental Contempt encounter. He in turn smiled and nodded politely...
Cut to a week later or so: Beardy is sitting behind me, focused on his work, as I eat a snack before I start to write my questions. At one point, I get up to walk around and he and I lock eyes - one of those moments where you're supposed to give a "hello" nod and acknowledge the other person - but he completely snubs me and just keeps on typing as if I weren't standing in front of him. Then, this past week, I saw him again in the break room and tried once more to make contact - waving modestly to say "hi" - but Beardy this time looked completely through me and kept on talking on his hands-free cellphone. He was on the phone, yes, but the guy still nevertheless could've acknowledged my gesture with a quick nod or smirk. Nope. He chose to disregard me altogether.
Needless to say, I don't care much for Beardy anymore.
I've realized the scenario pans out differently if an attractive Latina sits next to me. The other day, a pretty Puerto Rican co-worker of mine came in and said hola! to me as she sat down to start working. The hola! was clearly directed at me, but a dude sitting behind me got a good look at her and decided to cut in, saying, in awkward Americanese, "oh-lah! (hola)." She exchanged pleasantries with him while I tried to ignore him completely, but this one comment that came out of his mouth caught my attention and unnerved the hell out of me:
"You know, you Spanish-speaking writers need to socialize with the rest of the people more. You should all mingle more with us."
I bit my tongue and kept my mouth shut, but it wasn't easy. Why is there such a discrepancy between the different working groups? Is it a "culture clash" thing, in which both sides are reluctant to make the first move towards befriending/getting to know one another? Or is it simply a situation in which everyone just wants to be left alone - no interruptions or "small talk" - in order to do their work peacefully and go home?
If it's the former, then it's truly disappointing for me. People behave that way in middle school and in summer camp, but not when you're 21+ and living in a freewheeling and diverse city like New York. If it's the latter, then I can somewhat sympathize and understand their reasons. I'm also not keen on being overtly friendly with co-workers (or co-workers being overtly friendly with me), because it can be truly off-putting - but - that is not my intention. It's not like I want to become their BFF's or go out drinking with them. In effect, it's a question of common decency and good manners. Pure and simple. We're all working in the same space together, enduring long hours of survey-writing, and a nice gesture like a smile or a wave can help ease off the tension we might be feeling. Unless someone's clearly done you wrong, why carry on with such an attitude? Are people really that insecure with foreign-speaking individuals that they prefer to ignore them altogether?
Should I even bother to keep trying to be friendly? I've already made the "first step" numerous times, and it hasn't made a dent. One thing I do know for sure: if Beardy blatantly ignores me one more time, a cup of subpar coffee from the break room is going in his face. Oh-lah!
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