Can You Hear Me Now? ~ I Don't Want To

About six weeks ago, my iPod passed away.

As many of you that have gone through this can probably attest to, it is a downright annoying predicament. Also, like many of you, I use my iPod wherever I go. When I jog, I always rely heavily on music so as to energize myself through the work-out routine. When I go to museums, I also take solace in my music playlists; they enable me to more fully enjoy the artwork and, quite simply, be in my own world when I'm appreciating them.

Now, that meditative aspect of my life is no more. At least for the time being.

I will surely buy another iPod very soon - a cheap, simple one - but, for the past several weeks in which I've been devoid of "on-the-go" music, it's been a bothersome experience. Now when I take the subway, I'm exposed to random strangers' rants - from the trivial to the insanely idiotic - not to mention having to withstand subway performers making my ears bleed with their music (I'm looking at you, ranchera singers). Given that I haven't had an iPod to save me from the surrounding noise, I've been reading a lot on my commute in hopes of blocking out as much banal jabber as possible. What I've realized these past weeks is that, when I don't have an iPod to envelop me in my own 'bubble,' every single thing in my environment vexes me:

A man chewing gum loudly, and popping it every other five seconds? Yes.

Young Hispanic kids bragging about the 'b*tches' they like in school? Oh sí.

A lovey-dovey couple raving about "Jenny's upcoming bridal shower"? For sure.

I truly don't want to know about people's private lives. Unfortunately, music - that which centers me and helps me ruminate about my own preoccupations - is now absent in my commuting life, and I'm forced to take part and listen in on other individuals' personal matters. However, the cases mentioned above aren't that bothersome for me. After all, people have every right to converse and rant freely in public places (and I'm just the guy who has to deal with it).

The ones that I truly have an issue with are people who go to both extremes - who enjoy talking on the phone about very intimate matters or unbelievably banal topics. These people are forcing us - the public - to be witness to their conversations because they refuse to have these phone dialogues in their own private space. Why do they want to inflict other people to listen to their insecurities and issues, when in fact we all have problems of our own that we appropriately keep hidden from everyone? We do not need to know that you just had a nasty fight with your girlfriend, or that a co-worker of yours was calling you childish names by the water cooler. Things like that, I tend to rant about in the privacy of my own home - or perhaps walking on the street when no one's around. But when I'm packed like sardines with overweight people inside a stuffy subway car? No. That's reading/iPod time, baby.

The other day, I was doing laundry at a neighborhood laundromat and this girl walked in talking on a hands-free cellphone. She had her earplugs on and her phone was inside her coat, and she was conversing animatedly with a friend of hers. I was trying to read a script on my laptop as my clothes tumbled and twirled in the washing machine - but her constant presence in front of me and her vivacious speaking style kept distracting me. Her animated rant was so noticeable that I even managed to form a pretty accurate characterization of her just by conversation topics alone! Throughout her 30min+ conversation, she talked about Broadway shows and auditioning for producers, so I immediately had her pegged as a recent Musical Theater college grad now actively trying to land a gig somewhere. Her very public outpouring of details about her life annoyed me, yet I couldn't extricate myself from analyzing her as she kept gabbing on to her friend.

I desperately wanted to finish doing my laundry so that I could evade her for good. Then, as I tried blocking out her voice, she started enumerating recent movies and her likes and dislikes, singling out Up in the Air as one that she loved. Then, when she mentioned The Wolf Man, she suddenly went on a tirade, repeatedly stating that she loathed it and reiterating this in overtly dramatic ways - the signs of a true Musical Theater spirit. At one point - when she was referring to her sentiments after seeing the film - she uttered this doozy of a line:

"I want my money back, and a personal apology from Benicio Del Toro."

The phrasing alone is funny. This girl was so turned off by this weak, inconsequential horror film that a decent reimbursement for $12.50 wouldn't be enough to satisfy her. Benicio would have to fly over to JFK, take a cab to Astoria and find this girl, and tell her, "Lo siento mucho por 'El Hombre Lobo.' " At that point, my vexation towards this girl dissipated, and I started to chuckle out loud inside the laundromat.

People love to talk everywhere and about anything, no matter how private or inappropriate. In some respect, they want to show other people that they have a life - not only relay the fact that they're going places but that they're doing so by interacting with others, regardless of whether it's in a positive or negative way. In reality, people's lives are - quite simply - incredibly dull, but by reiterating its fragments out loud, people make themselves feel known, like productive members of society.

As for me, I'm fine with being just a small cog in a big machine. I keep my agenda and destination hidden from everyone else. I don't even know what my plans will be tomorrow, so for now, getting my "on-the-go" music back and reading my book will suffice....